Haven't posted in a long time. Should update this at somepoint. My mother, Mary, passed away last August from late stage breast cancer that had spread to her brain and beyond. We were estranged for 20 years, and I can't say I really wanted to know much more about her. But due to her circumstances, I was called in about 5 weeks before she passed as the only next of kin willing to step up. Into the nursing home by my house, and Marty (also hadn't seen in 20+ years) agreed to come from S. C. to see her friend. For four weeks she slowly deteriorated; but that time with her was important. Her life was beyond her capability, and for that I hope at least her last days were comfortable. The last days were so hard, you could understand the pain and hardship she had gone through. Many times she would awake confused, and try to climb off the bed and put her arms out to you crying, please help me, don't hit me, I won't run away. Broke my heart. Many thanks to Marty for coming and filling in the spaces of time and gaps of her life; and how Mary really felt and about her life. Mary was too fragile for this world. May she now rest in peace.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Monday, April 11, 2011
Mom & the girls...
To my friend, who prompts me to address discrepancies in my ramblings...
In my 16 & emancipated post I eluded to 'mom' and the girls...
This wonderful woman took me in and became "mom" forever more, and the girls my sisters. While I only actually lived with her during that critical year from 15 to 16, they are family, and where my holidays are spent.
In my 16 & emancipated post I eluded to 'mom' and the girls...
"Lasted with a patient uncle for a few months, and then I moved out at 15 with a wonderful lady and her daughter. That too lasted a few months, and I was too big for my britches."
This wonderful woman took me in and became "mom" forever more, and the girls my sisters. While I only actually lived with her during that critical year from 15 to 16, they are family, and where my holidays are spent.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
trailer
I can't remember whether this was the nice one, or the crappy one... a 10 year old memory is much different.... however, jenn reminds me that there were two adults, and 4 kids living here. marty's kids, mary and i. Thanks to Jenn, who lives in SC, for sending this picture!
The "horse" house
Remember one of my very first posts?:
a rented house? frequently out of gas, big natural gas/oil tank out front for heating.. frequently empty and cold.. didn't pay the bill? Fans on the floor, horses out back belonging to owners, horse had a foal, lots of blacberry patches, lots of blackberry picking.
Well, thanks to facebook, and reconnecting with jenn, or "marty's kids" as I may have mentioned in my blog, I have a picture. =)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Dad & Germany
so my dad managed to track down his real parents in Germany... through friends who are near Offenbach. Apparently both his parents weren't german after all.. his mother was italian (my grandmother), and his father was german (my grandfather). He had other siblings, and he was the youngest and given away since they couldn't afford to raise more kids. I have to check dad's letters, but their last name was GERMAN. Dad went and visited the only sibling that is still alive, a sister, and she is in the states.. he said there is a massive italian side of the family.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Awanas
Atheist...
i remember growing up, thanks also to mary, let me jot a few thoughts:
* rather than girl scouts, we had "awanas?" -- how many bible verses you memorized and how many people you converted to christ won you patches
* weeks and weeks of vacation bible schools
* Mary and marty sitting in trances, looking weird with glazed eyes, talking saying that it wasn't them talking, but rather god talking through them
* being tackled by mary and marty who would "annoint" my head with oil crosses to drive the devil out
* lots of "abra ladkjfflk hghghgh ddkkkeeee" - lol, talking in tongues by Mary, Marty, and where we went to church
* lots of paranoid hiding from people who were supposedly "devil worshippers"
i remember growing up, thanks also to mary, let me jot a few thoughts:
* rather than girl scouts, we had "awanas?" -- how many bible verses you memorized and how many people you converted to christ won you patches
* weeks and weeks of vacation bible schools
* Mary and marty sitting in trances, looking weird with glazed eyes, talking saying that it wasn't them talking, but rather god talking through them
* being tackled by mary and marty who would "annoint" my head with oil crosses to drive the devil out
* lots of "abra ladkjfflk hghghgh ddkkkeeee" - lol, talking in tongues by Mary, Marty, and where we went to church
* lots of paranoid hiding from people who were supposedly "devil worshippers"
Monday, February 7, 2011
More..In Response to Questions
"Becoming a book worm..."
5 Comments - Show Original Post
Collapse comments
ajtrogue said...
My daughter reads like that. Me, not so much. I have various theories why. But I still love to read...just nice and slow...
Did your mother read? To herself or to you? What was the first book you remember reading yourself? I'm convinced my children read as well as they do because my ex-wife and I read to them daily until they could read on their own.
So what kind of salad dressing WILL you eat?
Who were your friends in 5th grade?
How would you describe the librarian?
What did your mother think/comment about all of your reading?
Tell me to shut up if my comments are annoying. :)
February 7, 2011 5:57 PM
Leila F. Search said...
Actually, I have no recollection of my mother reading to either me or herself. And I don't know where it started.. I was always in the talented and gifted programs at school, and remember always winning book reading contests.. but think it began with the many hours spent by myself, not leaving the house, and no tv.
I seem to have such a bad memory and don't remember the librarian, except perhaps as a friendly face at school. Not many friends at school, especially in 5th-7th... remember it being a time I was ridiculously made fun of (really tall for my age & still tall), a nerd, and the poor kid with the salvation army clothes.
I don't remember my mom commenting on my reading either... in fact, now that I am recalling some facts.. I think this time period was 6th grade, not 5th.. because 5th grade was home school with Abeka books, ugh!
February 8, 2011 2:31 PM
ajtrogue said...
How tall? Then, now? Then...if not in feet/inches, compared to the others. Six inches more? Twelve?
Who, what, when, where, why, which, how? Those are the initial questions I ask myself when I write, followed by "Describe..." and "Then what happened?"
Which movie (or book) character(s) remind(s) you of you at that age?
How long was your hair then (compared to now)? How did you wear it?
What kind of shoes did you wear?
Describe your salvation army clothes.
What is your theory for why your memory is "bad?" (btw - it seems pretty amazing to me.)
How did you get to/from school?
How did the other kids "make fun" of you? What did they say/do? How did they look at you?
I think every school had (& has) a kid like you in it. Did you know that one of the most progressive nutritional programs in schools today is the backpack program. Maintained largely by church youth, backpacks of donated heat & serve food are provided to needy children in schools by counselors when they leave on Friday afternoon. This way, they'll have food over the weekend if the parents don't provide food for them. How would a program like that have made a difference for you?
Hope I'm helping to jog your memory... *smile*
February 9, 2011 3:19 PM
Leila F. Search said...
Hi! I will eat oil & vinegar on my salad, and I particularly like ginger salad dressing (best served at a japanese restaurant ;)
I don't remember friends in 5th grade... we really truly moved all the time, or were so "poor" that I was quite mad fun of (or seem to recall). We did the salvation army shopping etc. i honestly don't remember.
I don't remember my mother thinking anything about my reading.. she probably thought it was a good babysitter however, since that's what I did waiting for her to come home.
March 17, 2011 8:01 PM
Leila F. Search said...
So in further response.. finally... =) tall, being about 6" taller than the average girls in class.. and today that is about 6'1" ;)
I mostly remember walking to school...but only start remembering around 5th grade..prior to that I don't know.
That backpack program sounds intriguing and definitely meets the needs of low income kids. We always had breakfast and lunch covered by the free lunch program, but weekends... well, I don't really recall going hungry, except the time she did it on purpose... but we always received the holiday baskets for turkey and food for the 'poor' familes ;)
March 17, 2011 8:05 PM
5 Comments - Show Original Post
Collapse comments
ajtrogue said...
My daughter reads like that. Me, not so much. I have various theories why. But I still love to read...just nice and slow...
Did your mother read? To herself or to you? What was the first book you remember reading yourself? I'm convinced my children read as well as they do because my ex-wife and I read to them daily until they could read on their own.
So what kind of salad dressing WILL you eat?
Who were your friends in 5th grade?
How would you describe the librarian?
What did your mother think/comment about all of your reading?
Tell me to shut up if my comments are annoying. :)
February 7, 2011 5:57 PM
Leila F. Search said...
Actually, I have no recollection of my mother reading to either me or herself. And I don't know where it started.. I was always in the talented and gifted programs at school, and remember always winning book reading contests.. but think it began with the many hours spent by myself, not leaving the house, and no tv.
I seem to have such a bad memory and don't remember the librarian, except perhaps as a friendly face at school. Not many friends at school, especially in 5th-7th... remember it being a time I was ridiculously made fun of (really tall for my age & still tall), a nerd, and the poor kid with the salvation army clothes.
I don't remember my mom commenting on my reading either... in fact, now that I am recalling some facts.. I think this time period was 6th grade, not 5th.. because 5th grade was home school with Abeka books, ugh!
February 8, 2011 2:31 PM
ajtrogue said...
How tall? Then, now? Then...if not in feet/inches, compared to the others. Six inches more? Twelve?
Who, what, when, where, why, which, how? Those are the initial questions I ask myself when I write, followed by "Describe..." and "Then what happened?"
Which movie (or book) character(s) remind(s) you of you at that age?
How long was your hair then (compared to now)? How did you wear it?
What kind of shoes did you wear?
Describe your salvation army clothes.
What is your theory for why your memory is "bad?" (btw - it seems pretty amazing to me.)
How did you get to/from school?
How did the other kids "make fun" of you? What did they say/do? How did they look at you?
I think every school had (& has) a kid like you in it. Did you know that one of the most progressive nutritional programs in schools today is the backpack program. Maintained largely by church youth, backpacks of donated heat & serve food are provided to needy children in schools by counselors when they leave on Friday afternoon. This way, they'll have food over the weekend if the parents don't provide food for them. How would a program like that have made a difference for you?
Hope I'm helping to jog your memory... *smile*
February 9, 2011 3:19 PM
Leila F. Search said...
Hi! I will eat oil & vinegar on my salad, and I particularly like ginger salad dressing (best served at a japanese restaurant ;)
I don't remember friends in 5th grade... we really truly moved all the time, or were so "poor" that I was quite mad fun of (or seem to recall). We did the salvation army shopping etc. i honestly don't remember.
I don't remember my mother thinking anything about my reading.. she probably thought it was a good babysitter however, since that's what I did waiting for her to come home.
March 17, 2011 8:01 PM
Leila F. Search said...
So in further response.. finally... =) tall, being about 6" taller than the average girls in class.. and today that is about 6'1" ;)
I mostly remember walking to school...but only start remembering around 5th grade..prior to that I don't know.
That backpack program sounds intriguing and definitely meets the needs of low income kids. We always had breakfast and lunch covered by the free lunch program, but weekends... well, I don't really recall going hungry, except the time she did it on purpose... but we always received the holiday baskets for turkey and food for the 'poor' familes ;)
March 17, 2011 8:05 PM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)